He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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