the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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