I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
