So gin and wine won't be happening again
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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