The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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