Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
