what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
