we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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