The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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