..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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