Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
