Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
