I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
