Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
