Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
