Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
