Your tits are I can't wait for
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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