I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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