i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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