He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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