Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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