what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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