would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
