It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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