ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
