i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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