When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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