dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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