I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
