What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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