He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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