when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
