I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
