Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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