At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
