Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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