Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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