Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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