Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
