Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
