The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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