it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
