I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We're too hungover to prance.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
