you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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