Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we're making bets on your personal life
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
