is your mom at the bar?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
