I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
