On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
