Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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