oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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