i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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