I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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