she looked like the bat from fern gully.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
