What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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