Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
