I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
