That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize