:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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