I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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