So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
