CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am midnight drunk by noon
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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