If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We are all done wearing pants today
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
