My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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